Arrested? (Part Two)
This experience started here.
Okay, so I had to run yesterday and so I did not finish my story. I believe I left you dangling at the ride home from the police station. Here's what happened next:
"Let's go home," I said, and turned to drive the car.
Pura cried most of the way home, and for once in our life together, I did not strive to comfort her.
Just in case you are already judging me, please note that my affections for Pura have not changed and have even, if possible, deepened. I just felt I should not try to comfort her when it was very important for her to feel the complete agony of her mistakes. If she's always rescued from her feelings, she'll do this again, and I am here to say that is not happening!
About halfway home, I said, "Did someone bail out your friends?"
She shook her head no and sniffled into the sleeve of her scandalous dress. That's right: scandalous. I can hardly believe she went into public in something so small and ill-covering.
"Do I need to do that?" I was not made of money, but I could afford to help her friends and purchase a hotel for them for the night. Even if that was the opposite of what I wanted to do.
"No," she answered, and her famous Pura stubbornness suddenly overtook her tone. "They can just find their own way out!" she snarled. "They got themselves into this. And besides, it's got to be pretty damned humbling to see me get picked up first. By 'the crazy controlling lesbian nutjob' no less! I have someone in my life who loves me and jumps at the chance to rescue me. Kennedy called her dad and he said she can probably just rot in there."
I was worried about that. I am sure he was just speaking out of anger and frustration, but it seemed very cold to me. It would never have occurred to me to leave Pura there for any amount of time. I picked her up and got her out of there as soon as humanly possible. However, I did find her coldness disturbing, and my name on her friends' lips is clearly unsafe, and that is always distracting.
"Is that really what they think of me?" I asked her, hushed. Obviously they did not understand. Pura had come to me. Pura had arranged this lifestyle. It was Pura's choice and her arrangement, and she could leave any time she wanted. I would be devastated, but I was not...everything they said.
Pura glanced up at me and fresh tears scrambled hurriedly down her cheeks. "Yes," she admitted on a quiet exhale.
I nodded. What could I say to that? I swallowed. "I am willing to post their bail and set them up for the night. I don't think they should rot in there. I think the court date will be punishment enough."
There was a blossom of hope in her eyes as she looked at me. "Really?" she asked, surprised.
I narrowed my eyes at her. "For them, precious, not for you. They don't belong to me. I'm not their 'crazy, controlling, lesbian nutjob.' I'm yours. And you know if I just shrug this off, in a few days you'll decide I don't love you anymore and you'll start bratting, and then pretty soon, for some crazy reason, you'll throw a tantrum and try to storm out of my life. And very soon after that you'll beg me for a spanking and ask me to rebalance the scales." At this point, my throat constricts and I can barely speak. "Oh, my God, Pura," I whisper at her, and look at her for far too long while I am operating a vehicle. "It's so messed up. Maybe they're right and I am crazy and controlling. Maybe you did this tonight to prove to me that I don't own you."
And then, just like that, in the blink of an eye: we were fighting.
"Don't you dare say that! Don't you dare call yourself crazy!"
"Maybe they have a point and this is @#$%-up, Pura! Maybe..."
"Don't you talk like that! You don't ever talk like that!"
"Don't tell me how to talk and how to feel! I can't believe you did this! You could have died! You could have hurt someone else!"
"I am fine! Look at me! I'm fine!"
"I could just as easily have been looking into a body bag! I am just so angry that I should not be driving!"
And then, as if either one of us could even hear one another, the fighting escalated to more serious business...
"Just tell me if you kissed him! Did you kiss him?"
"How can you even ask that?"
"Answer the question!"
"NO! I didn't kiss him... He kissed me."
"WHAT!? Where did he kiss you? How? How far did you let it go? Is that what you want? Because you can have a man. Go get him!"
"Don't say that! You know you don't mean it! Don't say it!"
"When you left tonight, you promised me you would not get drunk. You promised me!"
"I had no intention..."
"This is completely irresponsible..."
"What did you expect me to do..."
"How did you not call me when you knew things had dissolved this far?"
"What was I supposed to do? Tell my friends a lie?"
"How can you even look at me after everything you pulled tonight?"
"Why are you being so unreasonable? I was DRUNK!"
"Stupid, irresponsible, petty excuses! You and your ready list of petty excuses! No! NO! NO! I will not listen to anymore! YOU ARE FINISHED!"
Silence fell between us and I pulled into the garage. I parked the car, finally, blissfully, at home where my distracting anger was not endangering me and everyone else on the road. I looked at Pura only to find her sobbing and cowering in her seat.
I sighed. "What?"
She looked my direction, but not in my eyes. "Finished? What does that mean?"
I had to retrace our "conversation" and I remembered my last words to her were my demand that she stop arguing with me. "I meant I would not listen to anymore excuses."
She looked up at me, beautiful eyes flooded, and chin quivering. "You did not mean you are finished...with me? With us?"
I grabbed Pura and jerked her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her. "No, baby, no," I assured her. "I'm never done with you or us. It's crazy, maybe, but it's us."
Holding her in my arms, where I could feel everything was fine and she was safe, I began to relax finally. I was so relieved she was safe, I probably would have let her off the hook completely, if not for what she said next.
"Really, if you think about it, it's not that big a deal, Mistress."
What?
Yep. I have to stop again, because my blood is going to boil if I go on now. Sorry to keep this dragging. I'll finish in the next post.
Double Damn You, Christian Grey!
Okay, so I had to run yesterday and so I did not finish my story. I believe I left you dangling at the ride home from the police station. Here's what happened next:
"Let's go home," I said, and turned to drive the car.
Pura cried most of the way home, and for once in our life together, I did not strive to comfort her.
Just in case you are already judging me, please note that my affections for Pura have not changed and have even, if possible, deepened. I just felt I should not try to comfort her when it was very important for her to feel the complete agony of her mistakes. If she's always rescued from her feelings, she'll do this again, and I am here to say that is not happening!
About halfway home, I said, "Did someone bail out your friends?"
She shook her head no and sniffled into the sleeve of her scandalous dress. That's right: scandalous. I can hardly believe she went into public in something so small and ill-covering.
"Do I need to do that?" I was not made of money, but I could afford to help her friends and purchase a hotel for them for the night. Even if that was the opposite of what I wanted to do.
"No," she answered, and her famous Pura stubbornness suddenly overtook her tone. "They can just find their own way out!" she snarled. "They got themselves into this. And besides, it's got to be pretty damned humbling to see me get picked up first. By 'the crazy controlling lesbian nutjob' no less! I have someone in my life who loves me and jumps at the chance to rescue me. Kennedy called her dad and he said she can probably just rot in there."
I was worried about that. I am sure he was just speaking out of anger and frustration, but it seemed very cold to me. It would never have occurred to me to leave Pura there for any amount of time. I picked her up and got her out of there as soon as humanly possible. However, I did find her coldness disturbing, and my name on her friends' lips is clearly unsafe, and that is always distracting.
"Is that really what they think of me?" I asked her, hushed. Obviously they did not understand. Pura had come to me. Pura had arranged this lifestyle. It was Pura's choice and her arrangement, and she could leave any time she wanted. I would be devastated, but I was not...everything they said.
Pura glanced up at me and fresh tears scrambled hurriedly down her cheeks. "Yes," she admitted on a quiet exhale.
I nodded. What could I say to that? I swallowed. "I am willing to post their bail and set them up for the night. I don't think they should rot in there. I think the court date will be punishment enough."
There was a blossom of hope in her eyes as she looked at me. "Really?" she asked, surprised.
I narrowed my eyes at her. "For them, precious, not for you. They don't belong to me. I'm not their 'crazy, controlling, lesbian nutjob.' I'm yours. And you know if I just shrug this off, in a few days you'll decide I don't love you anymore and you'll start bratting, and then pretty soon, for some crazy reason, you'll throw a tantrum and try to storm out of my life. And very soon after that you'll beg me for a spanking and ask me to rebalance the scales." At this point, my throat constricts and I can barely speak. "Oh, my God, Pura," I whisper at her, and look at her for far too long while I am operating a vehicle. "It's so messed up. Maybe they're right and I am crazy and controlling. Maybe you did this tonight to prove to me that I don't own you."
And then, just like that, in the blink of an eye: we were fighting.
"Don't you dare say that! Don't you dare call yourself crazy!"
"Maybe they have a point and this is @#$%-up, Pura! Maybe..."
"Don't you talk like that! You don't ever talk like that!"
"Don't tell me how to talk and how to feel! I can't believe you did this! You could have died! You could have hurt someone else!"
"I am fine! Look at me! I'm fine!"
"I could just as easily have been looking into a body bag! I am just so angry that I should not be driving!"
And then, as if either one of us could even hear one another, the fighting escalated to more serious business...
"Just tell me if you kissed him! Did you kiss him?"
"How can you even ask that?"
"Answer the question!"
"NO! I didn't kiss him... He kissed me."
"WHAT!? Where did he kiss you? How? How far did you let it go? Is that what you want? Because you can have a man. Go get him!"
"Don't say that! You know you don't mean it! Don't say it!"
"When you left tonight, you promised me you would not get drunk. You promised me!"
"I had no intention..."
"This is completely irresponsible..."
"What did you expect me to do..."
"How did you not call me when you knew things had dissolved this far?"
"What was I supposed to do? Tell my friends a lie?"
"How can you even look at me after everything you pulled tonight?"
"Why are you being so unreasonable? I was DRUNK!"
"Stupid, irresponsible, petty excuses! You and your ready list of petty excuses! No! NO! NO! I will not listen to anymore! YOU ARE FINISHED!"
Silence fell between us and I pulled into the garage. I parked the car, finally, blissfully, at home where my distracting anger was not endangering me and everyone else on the road. I looked at Pura only to find her sobbing and cowering in her seat.
I sighed. "What?"
She looked my direction, but not in my eyes. "Finished? What does that mean?"
I had to retrace our "conversation" and I remembered my last words to her were my demand that she stop arguing with me. "I meant I would not listen to anymore excuses."
She looked up at me, beautiful eyes flooded, and chin quivering. "You did not mean you are finished...with me? With us?"
I grabbed Pura and jerked her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her. "No, baby, no," I assured her. "I'm never done with you or us. It's crazy, maybe, but it's us."
Holding her in my arms, where I could feel everything was fine and she was safe, I began to relax finally. I was so relieved she was safe, I probably would have let her off the hook completely, if not for what she said next.
"Really, if you think about it, it's not that big a deal, Mistress."
What?
Yep. I have to stop again, because my blood is going to boil if I go on now. Sorry to keep this dragging. I'll finish in the next post.
Double Damn You, Christian Grey!
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