Spankfully Yours

I thought I might never blog again, but little persistent Pura keeps bugging and a couple swats hasn't discouraged her nagging. I permitted her back into the blogging world because she would not be silent, and now she roped me back in as well, even though my life is incredibly hectic these days.

There have been unbelievable drains on my time and energy over the past month or so. And Pura is not exactly counted among those drains. Family, work, the never-ending life-sucking on-pain-of-death responsibility I cannot mention here, has me literally too exhausted to more than glance at the blog. I haven't even dared to read Pura's last entry, for fear I may see something that I cannot simply forgive.

Anyway... Here's the cyber-spank story:

I came home from a recent business outing. I was happy to be home, and I even managed to climb the bazillion flights of stairs without huffing and puffing too much.

I was hoping to surprise Pura, so I put my keys in the door sneaky-style, and then opened it with a burst. Pura was seated on the couch with her computer on her knees, and jumped up like someone had goosed her. I had actually been hoping for my entry to be a happy surprise, since I was coming home a day earlier than planned. But Pura looked shocked and a little frightened.

"Mistress," she said, and gave a nervous laugh. And then casually closed her laptop cover. That was what sealed it for me. She was acting. Sad for Pura, she's not a great little actress.

"What are you doing, baby?" I asked, dropping my travel bag on the floor so I could come in and close the door. She came running to me, flung herself in my arms, and in that moment I knew she had been up to something sneaky.

"I missed you," she squealed, followed by a series of other similar sentiments. Several times I tried to get a word in, but she maneuvered around my inquires like a professional sweet-talker. Now, I am not going to lie to you, readers: I gave in a little because I had missed her. All right... I gave in a lot. Completely.

I brought it up again later.

"So, Pura," I asked, trying for casual and not making it. Unfortunately, I am not so good an actress either. "What were you doing when I came in earlier?"

"What do you mean?" Innocence personified.

"You know perfectly well what I mean. You jumped up faster than I have ever seen. What were you doing on your computer? Looking at porn?"

She rolled her eyes at the absurdity of that idea. "Of course not. I was just checking my email. It was nothing. I was just surprised to see you, and you were quite sneaky popping in the way you did."

"I wanted to surprise you," I answered. "I guess I did." And I got up to fetch her computer from the front room. She followed on my heels, trying to coax me back to the bedroom. I was not to be swayed this time, though.

"Mistress," she pleaded. "I really was checking email. Why would I lie to you? You're paranoid!"

"Yeah. I tend to be paranoid when you are lying to me."

She grabbed my face and held me there looking at her eyes. "I don't keep secrets from you," she promised. It was a creed we have had for a long time, so she was just trying to remind me. "I really was checking my email. But it is about something private, and I don't want you to see it."

"I thought you don't keep secrets," I replied.

"I don't," she insisted. "This is not a secret. It's just currently private. But you will know all about it soon."

This made me particularly doubtful. What could possibly be in her email that was private? What could she be hiding that she would be telling me about later?

"Did your mother email you?" I asked coolly.

"No," she answered, then she thought for a moment and said, "Well, yes, actually, but that's not important. She was bound to get my email address eventually."

I pushed away from her and returned to my quest. She followed me, trying to pull me back. "You're right," she suddenly announced. "I was looking at porn. I'm addicted to spanko porn." She slid in front of me and put up a hand to stall me. "You caught me. I'm sick and I need help."

Now, I don't normally roll my eyes, but this was ridiculous. So I indulged in a little eye-roll. "Pura, stop being silly. I know you are not addicted to porn. And don't tease about stuff like that. There are millions of legitimate porn-addicts out there, and they don't deserve their conditions to be lessened by your trite reference shouted out of desperation."

Disclaimer: The words in green were not actual words used during this conversation. They were added here to let people know that we do not take pornography addiction lightly. And also for emotional effect.

"Mistress, please!" Pura begged. "In this one matter, try to show me that you trust me! Please! In this one little matter. I promise not to let you down. I promise."

"You don't think I trust you?" I asked in surprise. But why would she? I am extremely controlling and I always know what is going on in her life. The idea that she had a secret from me was going to kill me, but not because I was afraid she was doing something illegal or naughty, but because I had no control over the situation.

Her doubtful look answered my question most painfully.

"But I do trust you," I replied.

"Do you?" she asked, holding my face in her hands again. "Because if you do, I need you to really, for real, demonstrate trust in me about this. Please?"

Well, what choice did I have? I asked her to give me a timetable, and she said one week would tell all. Then I let her distract me. Or at least I let her believe she had distracted me. But the truth was, I could not shake the feeling of frustration I had over not knowing.

I hardly expect any support from my readers when I tell you what I did then. I waited until she was asleep and I went to check her computer. I know! It was a very bad move. And beneath me. I should never have let her believe I would leave it alone. And she knows me, so she knows I never could. Unbeknownst to me, she was watching me from the hall as I turned on her computer and discovered that the email was from a travel-agent friend of mine she had coaxed into giving her a killer deal on a pair of plane tickets to Hawaii. Next week is our anniversary and she wanted to surprise me. (Enter series of naughty expletives here.)

Need I say she was pissed? And, sad for me, I don't even blame her. Her parting shot when she went to sleep in the guest room was "Well, at least bloody blog about this so our readers will know that you're not the god-given miracle mistress they all think you are!" Yikes.

Readers, since there is not any role-reversal allowed in my relationship with Pura, do you think I deserve a cyber-spank?

--Spankfully Yours,
Mistress Nichole

P.S. Ana, no comments from your peanut gallery